Sometimes It's Hard To Let Go
by RuinsofGallifrey
Summary: 30 years after the end of ME3, Garrus remembers his Commander and the sacrifice she made to stop the reapers. At least Solana and her son Irik are there to comfort him. Femshep/Garrus, spoilers for end of Mass Effect 3. Please R&R :)


"Uncle, did all of those stories about the Reaper Wars really happen?" a young turian stared wide eyed up at an older turian, curiosity running unchecked through his brain.

"What things are you talking about, Irik?" the older turian replied, glad to see his nephew was taking an interest in the galaxies achievements.

The two turians were sitting side by side in the grass on the top of a large hill, watching the sun set into the distance. Irik though a moment before replying, "Well, in school they say that a woman named Commander Shepard saved the _entire galaxy_ from the reapers who wanted to kill everyone!" Child-like awe filled his voice. "They say she was a hero and that without her the entire galaxy would have been doomed!"

The older turian just laughed fondly. "Of course that really happened! Do you think that the school would make up these stories?" The turian took in a deep breath and continued. "Not even thirty years ago, Commander Shepard saved all of our lives and she paid the ultimate price." The turians eyes glazed over, mind lost in the memories of his youth.

Irik gaped, "So she was real! I always thought they were telling us stories."

The older turian smiled weakly, looking at the innocent child next to him. "She was a legend."

"I heard some rumours from my friends too, but I'm not sure if they're…." Irik trailed off, wondering why his uncle looked so sad all of a sudden.

"What rumours did you hear, Irik?" The turian asked, mandibles flaring, angry that someone might have insulted the Commander's name.

"Did you actually work with her?" Irik asked, undying curiosity in his young voice.

The turian relaxed. "I did, Irik, once upon a time. We took down Saren, Cerberus and the Reapers as well. Together we helped the people of this galaxy. But she…..she's the one who's the hero."

"But if you helped her, that makes you a hero too! You both saved the galaxy!"

The turian shook his head slowly, looking down at his nephew. "You're too young to truly understand, Irik. She gave everything for the good of the people. She gave her life up in the Citadel so that the galaxy would have a chance to survive." He looked to the ground. "Me? I gave my support. In comparison, that's…." The turian looked back to Irik. "Go on inside now; it's getting late. I'm sure your mother is looking for you."

Irik huffed, clearly frustrated that his uncle wasn't up for sharing stories. "Goodnight uncle."

He stood up, brushing grass off of his legs, before running back down the hill toward the house, leaving the older turian alone with his thoughts.

He stood, alone in the grass, watching as the cool wind blew through the trees in the valley below, until a voice calling his name shattered the silence.

"Garrus?"

He turned toward the house, squinting at the silhouette in the distance. _"Shepard?" _he thought hopefully, before crushing it back down. _Shepard was dead._

"Solana." He greeted,before turning back to the sunset.

"Garrus, what are you doing up here? Irik said you look upset for some reason."

" I'm fine, I just wanted some time to myself. I'll be in in a minute."

Solana joined her brother on the hill, standing next to him silently. They watched as the sun set and the first of the stars appeared in the sky. Once the sky had darkened considerably, Solana broke the silence.

"I know you loved her Garrus. I'm sorry, my brother."

Garrus didn't even blink. Staring out into the horizon, he replied nonchalantly, "Who, Shepard? Everyone loved her. She's the savior of the galaxy." He chuckled unconvincingly.

Solana sighed. "You know I didn't mean like that. You cared for her. Deeply. Anyone can see that."

Garrus was silent.

"You have to stop blaming yourself. Her death wasn't your fault. She died doing what she did best. _Saving lives."_

But still, Garrus said nothing. He bowed his head in shame.

Solana put her hand on his shoulder. It was the only comfort she could offer him right now.

"I know." Garrus said, barely louder than a whisper. "It's just….." he sighed and closed his eyes, head still bowed.

"I'll be inside if you need me." Solana squeezed his shoulder in one final act of support. "And Garrus, Shepard would want you to let go."

She turned and walked back towards the house. At the bottom of the hill, she paused to look back. "Goodnight brother," she called.

Alone again, with only his thoughts for company, Garrus Vakarian looked out into the night sky, wondering if Shepard had found peace.

"_If only you had been faster, you could have dodged the Reaper blast. You could have caught up with her. If only you were faster, she wouldn't have been alone. She might have lived. If only…." _His thoughts bombarded him mercilessly, before he could shut them out. He knew they would come back with a vengeance, but right now he wanted to forget.

Maybe one day he'd forgive himself, and then would finally find peace for himself.

A single tear escaped from his eyes as he took a shuddering breath. "Goodnight Shepard," he whispered into the night air, before turning back down the hill toward his home.

_**AU:**_

_** Yay! My first Mass Effect Oneshot! I hope you guys like it, enough to review with compliments, comments or complaints maybe?**_

_**Anyway yes, this is a FemShep/Garrus romance, although it takes place after Mass Effect 3, and shepard is dead. I just got this idea in my head somewhere, and the damn plot bunnies wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it down. They can be so annoying sometimes, can't they?**_

_**And I left this story kind of open, like I never said how Shepard saved the galaxy. That is up to you, my dear readers!**_

_**BTW: I didn't make Solana up. Although not much is known about her, in the lair of the shadow broker DLC, you find out that Garrus does indeed have a sister. He also mentions her in ME3, about how he's worried about her escaping Paleven.**_

_**Irik, I did however, make up. He's Solana's son, about 10 years old. Garrus is about 60 or so, it's been about 30 years since the end of ME3. Solana, I interpreted of being his younger sister, would be about 40.**_

_**So I've gone on long enough, time to shut up. I hope you guys liked it! Please REVIEW with comments! I love to hear them! Reviews=Love! :)**_


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